3.01.2005

American Idol Blog 7.2

Aloha Mischeaux: Likes chicken in her pre-show interview. And we care about this…why? Whatever. She appears to be wearing a fuchsia tablecloth. It’s all very Overwrought 70s Soul Diva – complete with weird cooing and skeevy dance moves and such. She does have a lovely voice under there, but it’s having to work through a lot of her affected crap for anyone to even get a peek at it. I can’t tell if the levels are off or if she’s not singing loud enough and being drowned out by the band. Not awful, but pretty forgetful. Randy and Paula miss the boat and just say that it wasn’t that great, but Simon nails it on the head when he says it was “affected.” Totally.

Lindsey Cardinale: Still has the mannish, deep, flat Cher voice. She’s wearing an unflattering top that makes her look six month pregnant. The performance is a little zippier and more country, but I think it’s largely because she’s getting an extra little boost from a particularly loud background singer. It’s okay, but largely uninspiring. Plus, she spoke-sang. Yick. Randy and Paula liked it but want more. Simon intimates that Lindsey is highly unforgettable. Yeah.

Jessica Sierra: Is a self-proclaimed country girl and makes a dramatic entrance out of smoke and blinding light. She sings that Martina McBride song about broken dreams. It’s competent enough, but not moving – she’s missing that Leann Rimes/Patsy Cline ache in her voice that makes this genre work. The judges love it – Simon proclaims it the best female vocal performance thus far. Eh. I don’t think so.

Mikalah Gordon: Spews some crap about wanting to be famous so she can have servants. She changes it up by singing a smoky rendition of “God Bless the Child” which is kind of in the wrong key for her – a little too low for her range. However, we do hear some of the lovely elements of her voice without all of the over-the-top clowny crap to much it all up. Getting rid of all that fakey showy stuff allows her let some authentic emotion shine through. I like this Mikalah much, much better and so do the judges.

Celena Rae: Wants to be famous so designers will make clothes for her. I got news for you honey – even if you win Idol, you won’t be famous enough for Giorgio Armani to be sending you sketches. She still looks like an uninteresting 30-year-old mom who’s trying to be hip. The crowd applauds for her weird, off-key wail mid-song. Shut up, audience. The whole thing is very boring and is good enough for second-place finish in a midsize city’s karaoke competition. Simon nails it when he says she will probably end up singing in a hotel bar. Yep.

Nadia Turner: Looks hot again this week, with a look I shall call Urban Hippie. I love her funky sense of style. Her voice is smoky and strong although she’s not as well served by a slow song. The judges tell her not to sing a song like this again reminds her and the audience that she’s much better than this. Still love her, but I’m hoping she comes back to her fierce self next week.

Amanda Avilla: Sings “Turn the Beat Around,” which is such a mistake because no female yet on Idol who’s attempted this song has been fierce enough to live up to the original disco version or creative enough to do her own version. She doesn’t break the trend. She’s still very lovely and pretty, but perhaps needs a marriage to a Tommy Mattola-type to truly break into the music biz. The judges, bizarrely, love it. Meh.

Janay Castine: Needs to wear more makeup so she doesn’t have that weird six-year-old face. It doesn’t help that her babyface is incongruous with her song choice – “Hit ‘Em Up Style,” where a cuckholded woman avenges herself with a shopping spree on her ex’s credit cards. She does pull out the funniest in-show shout-out by using Paula and Mikalah as her in-song shopping buddies. The singing is weak and a little shaky and it totally doesn’t work for her. The judges don’t like it either and Simon says that he feels that “she’s not experienced enough for this competition.” OK, yeah, but then why’d you put her through?

Carrie Underwood: Kills whatever love I had for her by murdering “Take Another Little Piece of My Heart” with her hackneyed country version. Honestly, I think that there is a way to do this song country-style but this is not it. The song is a beautiful, tortured song, not the simpering, ass-wiggling cutsey crap that she tried to put up there. It’s a song about a woman who’s being tortured by the one she loves and she sang it like it was a song about flirting. She just confirmed for me that she’s an empty vessel with a decent voice – she has no sense of how to convey the emotion of a song. The judges agree, thank God.

Vonzell Solomon: Breaks out the second Alicia Keys song of the night. Like “Turn the Beat Around” all Alicia Keys songs are dangerous ground for female contestants to tread. She’s a little weak and pitchy at the end and off-pitch at the beginning, but she wails a bit on it in the middle. She has a good voice, but she has yet to pick a song that really showcases her strengths – most of the songs she picks tend to make her sound screechy, which she totally doesn’t need to do. The judges agree.

Ranking? Mikalah, Nadia, Jessica, Vonzell, Aloha, Amanda, Celena, Janay, Carrie and Lindsey. The Line of Caring falls between Vonzell and Aloha – meaning that don’t care about more than half of the female contestants. Not good.

49 Comments:

Blogger CPW said...

Further proof that my roommate is a few cards short of a deck--He said that Vonzell sang her song "better than Alicia Keys."

Ummm, if she sang better than Alicia Keys, she wouldn't need AI.

And they've GOT to get rid of the audience. It's so annoying that they clap along to EVERY song and give EVERYONE a standing ovation.

March 2, 2005 at 12:13 PM  
Blogger Joy said...

Yeah, your roommate is nuts. That's a very Paula comment, and when you're channelling Paula, you are in deep, deep trouble.

They really need to tell the contestants to just not sing any Alicia Keys songs. I know they banned "Fallen" from the auditions, perhaps they should do all of us a favor and ban her whole catalog.

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